- The older I get, the more a turtleneck makes me look like a turtle.
- Age is inversely proportional to my patience with idiots who still don’t believe in global warming.
- Women can grow nose hair too.
- Shrinkage applies to bladders as well as other body parts.
- Regardless of how much we exercise, eventually our legs look better below the knee.
- Acting my age doesn’t have to mean knitting afghans.
- At a certain point, being called “ma’am” is no longer insulting.
- It’s okay if my supervisor could chronologically be my granddaughter.
- I don’t have to wear industrial underwear like my mother did.
- This, too, shall pass – hopefully before I do.
Laurie Holman: Comedy Writer, Copywriter, Chocolate Connoisseur 