Laurie Holman: Comedy Writer, Copywriter, Chocolate Connoisseur

In case you have no idea what the hell Dunder-Mifflin is, it’s the fictional paper company in which an array of bizarre and often socially obtuse characters spend their workday in the sitcom “The Office.”

“The Office” characters frequently demonstrate behavior that, while funny on a sitcom, in real life would likely get you booted out the door so fast you’d be sitting out in the parking lot with your coffee mug in your lap and a dumb look on your face before you had time to say, “Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.”

Here are some big fat don’ts if you want to keep your job in the real world:

• Tell a racist joke while attempting a Chris Rock impersonation.
• Volunteer the info that you’ve been trading sexual favors for a discount on office supplies.
• Kiss a gay co-worker on the mouth in front of the entire staff to demonstrate your lack of homophobia.
• Have sex in the stockroom with a co-worker during office hours.
• Tell your employee she gives you a boner.
• Fake thousands of dollars of website sales.
• Pelt a client’s office building with eggs because they didn’t buy your products.
• Toss messages from your boss in the trash without reading them.
• Share an employee’s confidential info with everyone else in the office.
• Perform a fake suicide to elicit your employees’ sympathy.