Laurie Holman: Comedy Writer, Copywriter, Chocolate Connoisseur

My breasts are on borrowed time.

I seem to have so far diverted menopause
(will I develop a penchant for power tools?)
she’ll find me eventually
like an eccentric and often irritating relative
coming to stay for the rest of your life –
unwelcome, perhaps, but inevitable.

But back to my breasts.
Though exercising may delay the droop
I fear I may someday have to buy bigger socks to contain them
swinging at my ankles
boob pendulums (tick tock)

Looking on the bright side
I wouldn’t need my phone or a watch
to keep time