Today has been declared Hire a Slob Day. Employers have agreed to give 
hiring preference to unwashed applicants with stains on their clothes, bedhead and hanging shirttails. The time it will take to get a job offer is inversely proportional to the time that has elapsed since you last took a shower.
The decision to implement this initiative to hire the slovenly has been reached after much debate and a near government shutdown.
Just kidding. Happy April Fool’s Day!
Laurie Holman: Comedy Writer, Copywriter, Chocolate Connoisseur 
Ha ha! Very cute! How are you doing? Jessica
Thanks, Jess! I’m good (I’ll expand on that in an email).