In an interview
A sense of humor is good
Sex jokes, not so much
Be yourself, sort of
But not your fetishist side
No staring at feet
If you swear a lot
Don’t “f*ck” in an interview
Three blocks down’s okay
If you’re cynical
Try to curb the sarcasm
The job’s not Snark Queen
Are you religious?
Don’t bless the interviewer
Unless she sneezes
Weirdness can be cool
Just stay out of Crazy Town
Until you get home
No, I’m not referring to the ones who act like arrogant spoiled brats, barf on 
the Ritz ballroom floor when they were supposed to be on set an hour ago, and make their assistants clean it up. I’m talking about the classy ones who know what they have to offer, while respecting their colleagues’ roles in their work performance.
1. Ooze confidence. We all have our insecurities, but do you think Angelina Jolie ever stammers to a director, “I don’t really deserve this role, but I’ll guess I’ll give it a try if you really want me to”? Doubt it. You know what your strengths are, and you know how you can be an asset to a company. So own your power – even if you don’t have lips the size of Buicks.
2. Focus on the mutual interaction, not just yourself. You’re not a prisoner being interrogated by a fascist threatening torture. Nor are you a one-woman show. A job interview is a mutual-benefit encounter. If Jake Gyllenhaal just recited his lines without paying any attention to his co-star, he’d probably be selling ties at WalMart by now, no matter how hot he is.
3. Dress the part. Think Ashton Kutcher shows up for a screen test with unwashed hair and morning breath? I’m thinking no. Unless, of course, he’s reading for a part as a homeless person. Dress for the interview; make sure all body odors are unobjectionable.
4. Respect your potential costars. Don’t keep them waiting, explore how you can work together to produce a great whatever, and play nice.
5. Be a class act. You don’t need to be super-formal unless you’re that kind of person, but be professional. If you have to wait for the interviewer, don’t whine. And no tantrums allowed.
Spider-Man has a job interview. He knows the interviewer won’t just ask him 
about his work history, but will also probably do a behavioral interview, i.e. ask him to give examples of times when he saved the world from multi-limbed freaks or greedy uber-ambitious guys who climbed out of the TV sitcom hellpit. Here are some of the behavioral interview stories he’s prepared:
A career portfolio is always a good idea as part of your job search package, to trot out at interviews to showcase your accomplishments. A job search show-and-tell, as it were. And no, it’s not just for artists, writers and celebrity bachelor party cake decorators.
Samples of your professional accomplishments, skills, problems you’ve solved, and dragons you’ve beheaded can illustrate what you’re talking about in an interview in a powerful way. Being able to say, “…and I have an example of that if you’d like to see it,” can win you big fat brownie points in a job interview.
Of course, the interviewer may say, “no thanks, I don’t need to see your headless dragon,” but even if they don’t end up seeing anything you’ve got in there, the process of putting your portfolio together is still really helpful. Going through your materials and work samples can help you a. prepare for the interview, b. figure out where the hell your career is going, c. figure out where you want it to go, and d. make you feel really good about yourself, because your accomplishments are all laid out in front of you and scattered all over the kitchen floor.
There are many materials you want to include in your career portfolio (more about that in a later post); here are some things you’ll want to leave out:
A comedic look at job search and success – “What Color is Your Parachute” meets “This Is Spinal Tap,” if you will. This combination of comedy and advice gives helpful tips to anyone who is searching for a job, or hoping to hold on to the one they have. Topics include contemplating your navel to find your life’s work, idiot-proofing your job search, online disasters, strategic schmoozing, resume do’s and don’ts, interviewing horrors and how to handle them, how to hold on to your job, reflections on bizarre jobs, and weird work stories.
Laurie Holman: Comedy Writer, Copywriter, Chocolate Connoisseur 